My fellow Americans,
I’m Congressman Paul Ryan, Republican of Wisconsin and as you’ve probably heard, Mitt Romney has honored me by picking me as his Vice Presidential running mate. As chairman of the House Budget Committee, my area of expertise is tax policy—how to balance the budget on the backs of the poor while giving enormous tax breaks to the rich. (Remember, they’re the job-creators and the key to solving our nation’s economic ills.) The budget I’ve proposed in Congress—commonly referred to as “the Ryan Plan”—transforms Medicare into a voucher program and does away with this massive bureaucracy that is wrecking our system. Sure the Democrats will try and make that sound scary, but take my word for it…it’s the right thing to do. First we’re going to repeal ObamaCare, and once we’ve accomplished that we’ll take an ax to Medicare.
But I’m not here tonight to talk to you about the financial crisis, but rather the crisis of morality that plagues this great land of ours. I want you to know that in the past I’ve co-sponsored a Personhood bill because I firmly believe life begins at conception and that abortion is murder and should be criminalized. If you elect Mitt Romney in November, I can promise you that we’ll change the laws and set America on the righteous path we’ve all been yearning for. Kiss contraception and Planned Parenthood goodbye, and welcome home that fertilized egg with open arms!
Because Personhood is the defining issue of our time, I urge you to purchase a copy of the new book PERSONHOOD from Beuyscouts of Amerika. There’s no better time than now to bone up on the issue so you can educate your friends and neighbors.Besides, it’ll look very impressive on your coffee table.
At the moment it may seem like an uphill battle, but with your support and prayers I know we can win. God bless you, God bless America, and God bless those fertilized eggs!