FREQUENTLY ASININE QUESTIONS
Why is the sky blue?
Parce que vous êtes un imbécile.
How do I become a Beuyscout?
C’est facile! .Artists and writers are welcome (must be 18+, sorry kids). Submit one Scout-related work (art of any media and/or text) to the National Council via email. If approved you’ll receive the official Beuyscout Membership Kit with additional details and a certificate (suitable for framing.)
Are there any rules?—I hate rules.
Just one: members are required to produce at least one Beuyscout artwork in a multiple edition per year. This can include participation in one of our collective Scout projects. (See our Activities page.) In lieu of membership dues, proceeds from editions intended for sale to the public via our distribution chain must be used to fund future Beuyscout projects. There is no profit in scouting other than the deep satisfaction derived from doing battle with the enemy. We are not funded by the NEA nor do we receive generous grants from the 1%. The collective is governed by the Scout honor system. BOA encourages its members to participate on all fronts as frequently as possible. Donations, of course, are welcome.
I can’t publicly associate myself with the Scouts as it would jeopardize my day job as a senior staffer to Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell. (Yeah, he’s an evil asshole, but I’ve got a family to feed.) Can I still support the Beuyscouts as a non-member?
Sure thing. Spread the word surreptitiously. You can download our recruitment posters (available in Spanish, French. German, and Italian) and e-mail them to other guilt-ridden republicans in the belly of the elephant. Or—better yet—divert Super PAC funds intended for your boss directly to us via PayPal.
Do I have to wear a uniform?—I hate uniforms.
No. But nudity—whenever appropriate—is encouraged.